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Warren Sapp Was Bitten By A Shark Yesterday


Tampa Bay Times-
Former Bucs defensive tackle Warren Sapp, a regular on charter fishing trips in his retirement these days, was bitten in the arm by a shark while lobstering on a charter based out of Marathon in the Florida Keys. “It’s simple,” charter captain Jack Carlson wrote via text message while still cleaning up Wednesday afternoon. “He was lobstering with me and a shark bit Sapp while he was grabbing the lobster. He’s OK.”

We all already knew that sharks had feelings. But today we learned that sharks have standards too. How many times does a shark take a nibble out of someone and just let them go? I saw Finding Nemo. I know what those eyes look like once a shark tastes blood. Granted this is a complete guess, but I imagine that shark took a bite out of Warren Sapp and threw him back to the proverbial water because Warren Sapp probably tastes like an expired bologna sandwich. Sure a shark will eat the rotting carcass of a dead whale or seal. But Warren Sapp? The greatest predator in the ocean has standards.

And can you imagine if someone that seems to be disliked around the NFL as much as Warren Sapp was eaten by a shark the day before training camps around the league opened? There would be parties everywhere today like after the rebels won at the end of Return of the Jedi*.

*Spoiler alert

And this also brings us back to an old KFC Radio question of Warren Sapp vs. a cheetah. Nice way to burn some time on a summer Thursday in the cubes with an absolute babyfaced Kevin Francis Clancy before the weight of real life made him the KFC we all know today: