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Paul Ryan Continues Epic Struggle With Sports Analogies - Thinks UNC and NC State Fans Root For Each Other

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI) Holds Weekly Media Briefing

Strike 1…

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….

Now I know what you’re thinking: Kmarko, you’re seriously trying to tell us THIS guy doesn’t know sports?

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Seriously, I didn’t believe it either. You take one look at that guy and immediately hide your girlfriend before he can fuck her. You shotgun a beer and talk about your high school senior year rushing record and shove a wad of dip in your mouth just desperately trying to impress him.

But the man did it again. Just a god damn train wreck out here with the sports metaphors.

CLEVELANDParty unity remains a big issue as the Republican National Convention nears the halfway point in Cleveland, and U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan tried to emphasize that Tuesday morning in a talk with North Carolina’s convention delegation.

“How many of you had in your mind, at the beginning of this campaign, perhaps another candidate?” Ryan, a Wisconsin Republican, asked the crowd.

When a number of hands shot up showing a large contingent wasn’t initially supportive of Donald Trump, Ryan, who himself was slow to embrace the presumptive presidential nominee, said simply, “Fine.”

Then, he tried a sports analogy that quickly fell flat.

“OK, how many of you are for N.C. State primarily? How many support North Carolina?” he asked. “One of our teams from our state goes to the championship, we root for them, right?”

When that suggestion was greeted with a resounding “no,” Ryan winced. “Come on, work with me here. Good grief,” he said.

I mean you’re not completely oblivious to the world right? You saw the reaction to your Texas comment? And you chose to double down on the same exact concept a few days later?!?

Politicians man…they’re from a different planet. Right wing, left wing, middle wing, they’re all fucking alien lifeforms.

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PS,

If you ever find yourself in DC and need to win an impromptu 5-on-5 hoops game against any politician and his staff to save your life, choose Speaker Ryan.

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