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Big Fan Of These Two Casanovas Who Got Nabbed Trying To Steal $370 Worth Of Condoms And Energy Drinks

condom-thieves

NBC10 – Police in South Jersey nabbed a shoplifting suspect accused of trying to swipe $370 worth of condoms and energy drinks from a supermarket and the woman accused of being the getaway driver but a third suspect remained at large Thursday.

Evesham Township Police released surveillance images of a man they identify as Louis Diana Jr., 21, of Marlton, New Jersey and a second suspect inside the Shoprite along Route 70 West in Marlton on Saturday.

So what do you have planned for this weekend? Maybe a few beers with the boys? Maybe you’re heading to the beach or you have a barbecue or some shit like that? Well no matter what your plans are, there’s not a shot in hell they are better than what these two young go-hards had in mind. I mean, $370 worth of condoms and energy drinks (they look like they are going with NOS over Red Bull). Just think about how many condoms and energy drinks $370 can buy you. Need to know if they were planning on keeping all the product to themselves or if they were picking up for the whole party. I need to know how the $370 was distributed. More condoms, more energy drinks, 50/50? These are the kinds of questions that the journalists need to be asking. Either these dudes were nervous about all the bull sperm that is in energy drinks and they were going to use the condoms as strainers to not guzzle down a load of bull gravy, or they were about to have the most sex that anybody has ever sexed before. The things I would do to be able to roll in that crew.

P.S. – These are definitely the types of dudes who always keep a condom in their wallet and it just so happens to “accidentally” fall out whenever they have to take any money out. Like “whoops, sorry didn’t mean for you to see that I do so much sex that I always need to be prepared to do more sex at any given notice”.