A Couple Having Sex Near Train Tracks Had The Worst Thing Happen That You Could Possibly Imagine
..I swear this and the headline aren’t for clickbait purposes but for dramatic effect. Right now, imagine the worst thing that could happen if you had sex with someone near some train tracks for whatever reason. Keep that in your head. Now read:
Mirror – The horror accident happened as the woman romped with her lover close to a station in the remote region of Buryatia.
The breathless pair were being writhing around on the floor when they suddenly heard a noise coming closer.
A Russian Railways source said: “The woman was on top of her partner and when she heard an approaching train, she started to stand up.
“Right then, the speeding train torn her head off.”
He explained: “Had she remained in her previous position, she would have stayed alive. The man survived.”
Holy fucking shit can you even imagine? Like I could obviously see someone getting electrocuted by the third rail or even hit by the train happening; probable death is high on the “worst things that can happen when banging near the railways” table. But one second being ridden by a chick and the next second she’s a decapitated corpse standing in midair for a second before collapsing and geysering blood all over…that’s horror movie shit. That’s something that occurs when Jason happens upon some kids having sex near Crystal Lake. Fake life horrific shit that you can’t get out of your head ever.
Also the real lesson here thanks to that Russian Railways source: Just Keep Fucking. Burn that one into your head next to “stop drop and roll” since it could save your life. Imagine it inserted into the song here if you need to:
Also in case you’re wondering “How do two adults end up deciding to have sex by some train tracks?” here’s your answer:
Bindles, train track sex, and dismembered corpses. Yup that sounds like the hobo life to me.