Never Looking Back Again, Dario Saric Is Coming To America
Before we get started here, let me just take a quick second to give this tweet from Saric’s agent the recognition it deserves. Today afternoon. 4th our client. Broken English is my favorite English. Now click play and let’s get after it.
I think by this point everybody knows that I’m not the biggest basketball guy in the world. And my knowledge of basketball is pretty equal to my knowledge on how to please a woman. I’m not going to pretend like I know about how well Dario Saric will fit in with this Sixers team. I know he’s not going to be a superstar but he doesn’t need to be. That’s what you’ve got guys like Simmons and Embiid for. But this move (which Saric is apparently paying nearly half a million out of pocket for because of how bullshit the NBA rules are) isn’t so much of a basketball move as it is another point of validation for the Process Trusters. This move isn’t as much about basketball as it is a win for the city of Philadelphia. The man is paying $4600,000 to play and live HERE. In Philly. And lastly, this move isn’t as much about basketball as it is a win for the United States of America. Because what embodies the American Dream more than plucking a Croatian out of Turkey to bring him to America for a better opportunity? Nothing does. That’s what.
Now does it scare me a little bit that Dario Saric led the Croatian national team to a berth to the Rio Olympics? Yes. Of course it does. Because with the city of Philadelphia’s luck, Saric will contract the Zika virus and now that he’s signing with the Sixers, he’ll be able to infect the rest of the team and once the rest of the team is infected then the shit will spread like wildfire and all of a sudden the entire city has Zika. Does that all get cancelled out if the Sixers win a championship sometime in the next 5-6 years? Absolutely. But Zika is a high premium to pay for a ring. Speaking of viruses making their way to the Sixers locker room, Meek Mill showed up to the Sixers summer league game yesterday. They all looked so thrilled to be in his presence.
I love Meek. I brush my teeth to Dreams And Nightmares. But until he gets himself out of that perennial L column, maybe stay away from the Sixers during their rebuild.
Obligatory because Smitty would fire me if I didn’t include this at the bottom.