Why Lionel Messi Actually Needs To Go To Prison Now More Than Ever
CNN – The good news for soccer star Lionel Messi is that he won’t be going to jail for defrauding the Spanish tax authorities. The bad news is that he’s been fined $2.3 million.
A Barcelona court ruled that between 2000 and 2009, Messi was guilty of tax fraud and that for each of those three years he should serve a sentence of seven months. However, because this was the first time the Barcelona forward had committed an offense and his sentence was less than two years, the 29-year-old Messi won’t serve jail time as long as he doesn’t break the law again.
Well what a whirlwind of a month it’s been for Lionel Messi. First, the man hokes harder than any human has ever choked in the Copa finals against Chile. Then he immediately decides to quit the Argentinian national team beacuse he says he sucks to much to help them win. Then he gets convicted of tax fraud in Spain and sentenced to serve a 21-month suspension. In case you forgot, which I’m sure you did, here’s all the details from the lawsuit against Messi and his dad back from October of last year. Now the main story here is that Lionel Messi will NOT have to go to jail. At least not yet as he doesn’t break any more laws over the next 21 months. But my advice to Messi? Well I actually don’t think there’s ever been a better time for him to go to jail. And here’s why.
1) Everybody thinks he’s a pussy right now. Whether you like to believe it or not, that’s the case. You can’t lose in the finals of a tournament and then just say you quit. He literally said that he quit because he couldn’t help Argentina win a championship. So yeah, that move is weaker than a steamy pile of baby shit. Want to know how you immediately reverse all the haters calling you a pussy? Go spend a little time in jail. Nobody ever fucks with anybody that’s been to jail except for Steven Avery. You come out of there for a few months and just have to say that you’ve “seen some shit”. It doesn’t matter what shit it would. Could have just been some actual shit for all anybody cares. But you come out of there harder and now people start to fear you again on the field. As of right now, he’s a little 5’6″ midget out there running around out there choking left and right. But Prison Leo? Well nobody messes with Prison Leo.
2) What has Lionel Messi’s biggest problem been so far? That he can’t win the big game. I don’t care about how many championships or titles he’s won with Barcelona. He can’t win the big one with Argentina and that’s why Pele will always be the greatest to ever play. But what if Lionel Messi goes to Spanish prison and then we can get a little “Longest Yard” situation on our hands? Messi goes in there, rallies together a rag tag group of inmates to play against the guards. Then the game goes into PK’s and it’s a perfect redemption story for Lionel Messi. Maybe he takes the last shot this time. It’s all up to him. Stick that final shot and Messi is back. Everybody immediately forgets about that debacle against Chile. Seems pretty obvious to me.
