Denard Shoelace Robinson Gets Woken Up By The Cops While Napping In His Car...As It Was Sinking In A Pond.

JACKSONVILLE, Fla.- Jacksonville Jaguars running back Denard Robinson was behind the wheel of a vehicle that ended up in a retention pond near the intersection of Beach Boulevard and Southside

Police reports say Robinson and his passenger were passed out or asleep when officers arrived just after 4 a.m. Sunday. The front side of the black Chevy Impala was submerged in the water.

Police officers knocked on the door to wake them up, according to the report.

The driver (Denard Robinson) opened his eyes and then went back to sleep. I continued to knock on the window until the passenger Marissa Staples woke up and rolled the window down and said “what’s up”.I explained that their vehicle was in a pond and that they needed to exit the vehicle. The passenger attempted to roll the window back up. I was able to reach in the vehicle and unlock the door so I could help the occupants exit the vehicle.The passenger refused to exit the vehicle and had to be pulled out of the car. The driver was passed out during this whole process. I was able to wake the driver but had to turn the vehicle off and remove his seatbelt.The driver thought he was on a road and did not want to exit the vehicle. I had to tell the driver multiple times his car was in a pond and was sinking so he needed to hurry up and get out. The driver tried about three times to open the driver’s door which was the side that was under water. I had to keep reminding the driver to climb out of the passenger side because his door was in the water.

Robinson and the passenger were not hurt and will not be charged with a crime, police say.

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It’s tough to think of a worse thing than getting woken up from a nap before you’re ready to be woken up. You finally find that perfect position, win the fight against your body’s natural circadian rhythm, drift off for the perfect 30-40 minute power nap…then all of a sudden some rude asshole jerks you awake and that’s that. Sucks no matter where you are – in your bed, on the couch, in a car that is slowly beginning it’s descent sinking to the bottom of the pond you just crashed into. A nap is a nap is a nap. Fucking cops just refuse to leave anyone alone.

In all seriousness though, thank God, lots of thanks and shout outs to God, Shoelace was just really, reallllyyyyyyyyyy tired and things got out of hand.

I’d probably thank the cops that waded into the pond and woke your drunk ass up 15 times before you sank and drowned to death, but God works too.