David Ortiz Says He Regrets Announcing His Retirement Before The Season

Cue the flashback to our Big Papi HR Derby

Boston.com – David Ortiz says he regrets announcing retirement before season: “I’m too busy. I have too many things to do. I barely have time to do anything,” Ortiz told ESPN Deportes following the Red Sox’s win over the Seattle Mariners on Sunday. “It’s very difficult for me. If I had even imagined that it would be so difficult, I wouldn’t have announced anything. There are too many people I have to pay attention to, and on top of that I have to prepare for a game.”

Listen I love David Ortiz. I’d say he’s the most impactful Red Sox player of all time. As Red Sox fans we’re all indebted to him. But sometimes when Papi opens his mouth I’d just prefer he didn’t. This is one of those times. Complaining about prematurely announcing your retirement is an absolute dickbag move. Like the exact reason he announced it was so he could have this huge farewell tour with everybody sucking his dick and talking about him 24/7. So then to complain about that exact thing happenening is bizarro world. I mean cry me a river dude. If anybody else did this I’d eat him alive so it’s only fair that I call attention to it.