As the old saying goes, “the only thing worse than tailgating a Wednesday Phillies day game in a monsoon is tailgating a Wednesday Phillies day game in a monsoon and getting yourself ran over by an SUV”. Pretty sure Hemingway said that or some shit. But yeah, if you’re looking for a surefire way to contract some form of hepatitis, then running a barefoot 40-yard-dash through a South Philly parking lot covered with dirty rain water is probably your best bet. Still have no idea what that car was doing there, still have no idea what the point of the 40-yard-dash wash, still have no idea why this bozo didn’t chop his feet before coming to a stop. But it was the perfect storm of Darwinism and we couldn’t be thankful for it. Men die, legends live on forever.
(Before any of you dick bags start saying this isn’t a monsoon, there was a straight up monsoon in Philly earlier today. Might have only lasted 10 minutes or so but it was still a monsoon so fuck you).