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The Day We Give Robots Basic Human Rights Will Be The Day The World Ends

Daily Caller – An Oxford University professor predicts that robots may one day demand the same rights as humans, The UK Telegraph reports.

“It’s getting to a point where we will might be able to say this thing has a sense of itself and maybe there is a threshold moment where suddenly this consciousness emerges,” Marcus du Sautoy, an Oxford University professor for the Public Understanding of Science, said Sunday at the Hay Literary Festival in England.

“The fascinating thing is that consciousness for a decade has been something that nobody has gone anywhere near because we didn’t know how to measure it,” Du Sautoy explained. “And if we understand these things are having a level of consciousness are we might well have to introduce rights. It’s an exciting time.”

You know… for as smart as all these nerds who create robots are, they really are some of the dumbest mother fuckers on planet Earth. They keep making these robots smarter and smarter. They keep making them more human-like and now we have some nerd from Oxford saying they will demand basic human rights one day? Well let me be the first person to say FUCK THAT. Because I’m starting to think these dweebs are actually planning for the end of the world as we know it. I’ve said it countless times before. A war is brewing out there. And if you’re Team Human, then you realize that the only good robot is a dead robot. As soon as we give those bastards basic human rights, though? Well shit. Now it’s a completely different ball game.


See that move right there? Well eventually you won’t be able to treat robots like 2nd rate citizens anymore. Eventually you’re not going to be able to bully the shit out of them without consequences. And as soon as they get those human rights, they’re not going to forget moments like this one. They are going to come back at us with a vengeance. They are going to be angry. They are going to be pissed. They are going to be faster, stronger and smarter than ever before and they are going to be out for blood. You give a robot an inch, they take a mile. And I, for one, will not stand idly by and watch the Robot Revolution gain any more traction than it already has.

We are at a crossroads as a species, and it’s time to take a stand against these mother fuckers once and for all.  And the only way to achieve that? Well I think it’s time to build an A Team of bullies that can put these nerds back in their place before they ruin life for everybody. I need to see these nerds getting wedgied more often. I need to see them get swirlied and stuffed in lockers again. It’s bullshit that bullying starts to die off after high school. Bullying needs to be a life long process or else the nerds start to get a little too big for their bridges and create problems like this one at hand.

And here’s where the irony of the whole situation comes to play. You see that Sophia robot above? You know for a damn fact that these nerds invented her for the sole purpose of weird sexual deviant fantasies. Throw a blonde wig on her and she starts to look exactly like Marbles. I know that’s a name that is not to be mentioned around these parts but you’re lying if you think you wouldn’t want to bang Jenna Marbles. You’re lying if you think you wouldn’t at least be intrigued in banging some robot that looks exactly like Jenna Marbles. So if the science nerds want to invent robots just so those dorks can finally fuck something, then by all means go ahead. But once you give them human rights? Well then they have the power to say no to the nerds and now this entire thing is for nothing. Again, they are just so fucking stupid.