Johnny Depp Is Worth 400 Million Dollars And Didn't Think A Prenup Was Necessary. Surprise, He's Getting Divorced.

(Source) — Amber Heard has filed for divorce from Johnny Depp after just 15 months of marriage amid claims his family hated her. The actress, 30, submitted court documents on Monday citing irreconcilable differences and seeking spousal support. She listed the separation date as Sunday. Depp, 52, who is worth $400 million and owns a private island in The Bahamas, in turn filed his own legal documents through his lawyer, Laura Wasser, asking the judge to reject Heard’s claim. A source says the couple do not have a pre-nuptial agreement in place, according to TMZ. 

I’m not a relationship expert but I feel like when you’re worth 400 million dollars and you meet an actress, who’s a lesbian and twenty years younger than you, on a movie set then you need to make sure she signs a prenup before you get married. It’s just one of those cover your bases things. “Hm this woman who’s often discussed how she’s into women is now showing interest in me, a man? This one might not last a year and a half. Let’s get some legal documents going to make sure she can’t seek spousal support even though she’s a millionaire in her own right.”

I know when oxytocin kicks in then the brain doesn’t exactly function properly, but you’ve still gotta be better than that. You’ve gotta know that sometimes marriages, no matter how much you love each other, can suffer from unfortunate circumstances and never survive. Who knows, maybe your kid gets kidnapped and you blame your spouse, maybe your kid drowns when Johnny should’ve been paying attention and not fiddling with his bracelets, or maybe you’re forced to record a terrible apology video to the country of Australia because you snuck dogs in and the whole internet mocks you. These things can happen to any happy couple so you have to have your head screwed on properly when it comes to personal finances.

Ruthless move on Amber Heard’s part filing three days after Depp’s mom died, though. When she goes for the throat she really goes for it, I’ll give her that. If I wanted to divorce my wife and her mom passed I would immediately think, “Shit. Ok I’ll tough it out for five more years until she’s definitely over it. I can swallow my misery for that long.” But that’s probably because I’m a pussy and Amber is clearly a man-hating lesbian.