BREAKING: PA Joining The Rest Of The Free World In Being Able To Buy Beer At Gas Stations

Harrisburg, PA – Today, Governor Tom Wolf applauded the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board for “freeing the six-pack” in gas stations by approving nine applications permitting businesses with appropriate protections to sell up to 192 ounces of malt or brewed beverages. “’Freeing the six-pack’ will make the commonwealth more inviting for customers and businesses,” said Governor Tom Wolf. “I applaud the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board for approving these applications and respectfully ask that they approve similar subsequent applications that otherwise meet PLCB standards in order to improve customer service and convenience for Pennsylvania.”

YES! Those old hag Quakers aren’t running our lives anymore. Alcohol for all, and all for one. Cue up the slippery slope to booze being available on every corner around this great state. But in reality, 6 packs at gas stations are nice and all, but let’s be real here. The only many things missing in this Commonwealth is to finally get alcohol in ALL our Wawas. Not just the one in Delco that’ll ruin it for the rest of us, anyways. Think about it. The world’s most convenient convenience store is missing one thing and one thing only in its inventory – Beer. Seriously though, if states can have freaking drive-thru liquor stores then there’s no reason why we can’t grab a quick 6-pack along with a Shorti and a pack of Philly Blunts. Just be sure not accidentally start any fires inside the Wawa. They apparently don’t like that.

If anything I can’t wait for Wawa to run Boozefest specials like they do for Hoagies. Those jingles would be off the charts. Again, Wawa Hoagiefest jams are infinity times better than anything on the radio at any given time. If you don’t bob your head to then you’re either dead already or a soulless asshole. Pure bliss.