Bismack Biyombo Better Watch His Back After Falsly Claiming He Got Dikembe Mutombo's Permission To Finger Wag

Uh oh. Could we have two Cookie Monsters fighting to the death in the jungles of Congo? One could only hope. Bismack Biyombo vs. Dikembe Mutombo. Sounds like a damn monster movie. Textbook sociopath behavior by Biyombo. Seriously. Why would he even go off on a wild lie like this? Regardless, Biyombo better check himself before he wrecks himself. I’m sure Dikembe knows a fair share of warlords who wouldn’t mind inserting Biyombo into their Blood Diamond trade. But I suppose Dikembe has mellowed in his elder years. Back in the day he’d confront Biyombo in Toronto, reject a random object into his face, then not even ask if he wants to sex Mutombo. Just go right in for the real thing. Not so much anymore in his NBA Worldwide Ambassador Geico days. And yes, this is one of the very few Geico commercials where it’s acceptable to smile and not be judged wrongly by society.

PS – My very first time I did stand up I talked about Dikembe Mutombo’s dick wayyyyyy more than what should be legal. “Jokes” involving how Mutombo’s penis is fluent in multiple languages, can get its own passport, and when he ejaculates he feeds an African village for a year. Somehow it wasn’t that hot start I was anticipating for the ol’ stand up career.