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Annie Apple Will Join ESPN NFL Countdown This Season As A Contributor. Wait, What?!?

ESPN- Being a first-round NFL draft pick is enough to make you a celebrity. But since last month’s draft, New York Giants first-rounder Eli Apple has seen his mother become a bigger celebrity than he is. Annie Apple has gained fame for her lively presence on social media and a couple of high-profile interviews she’s given about her son and their draft experience, including one that prompted NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to send her brownies. “She’s not going to change,” Eli Apple said Monday, after the Giants’ first practice during organized team activities. “She was like this way back when I was in high school. She’s not going to do anything different.” Well, she is getting a new job. Starting this fall, Annie Apple will join ESPN’s Sunday NFL Countdown as a contributor. Annie Apple will offer player profiles and other stories for ESPN’s Sunday morning pregame show.

What a wild journey this has been. Less than a month ago I was spin zoning how Annie Apple’s fantastic Twitter account made the Eli Apple pick because I was entering depression about the Giants passing on Laremy Tunsil. I even jokingly said that there was probably a bidding war going on for Annie Apple after some of these social media gems were released to the world:

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Plus she has Tom Brokaw in her avi. Journalism integrity by osmosis is a thing, right?
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And now here we are. Annie Apple is about to enter the living rooms of millions of NFL fans every Sunday. What a time to be alive has never been a more suitable phrase.

But seriously, I love this. Sure she may not have “played in the NFL”. Or “went to journalism school” (she may have, I truly have no idea). But you know who else didn’t do that stuff? Almost every idiot you read on this site. And that led to a big swinging dick to invest a ton of his cracker factory money into idiots like us because it leads to entertaining #content.

Annie Apple knows how to joke around and keep it real on Twitter. The comment about the thirsty chicks was 10000% spot on. Instead of cringing as we listen to Ray Lewis scold a player for breaking the law, we will have Annie Apple mixing in some humor into the broadcast, which is just tremendous. And anyone that drops a tweet like this mere minutes after it was announced that the people at Disney will sign her paychecks can be on my TV any day.

And she throws a decent Twitter counterpunch, which is always important.
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Annie Apple just has “it”. I don’t know what “it” is, but I know it when I see it. You know who didn’t have it? Former ESPN employee Cris Carter, who went into a whole explanation about fucking bapping instead of dabbing.

So best of luck Annie Apple and I cannot wait for you to be the best person NFL Countdown has had on it since The Mayne Event was churning out instant classics every week.

And best of luck to Eli Apple having a mom that doesn’t pull any punches appear on a huge weekly pregame show where she will definitely call you out for sucking. Eli Apple is about to become the hardest worker and maybe best corner in the NFL because of this move. Did Jerry Reese just win the 2016 NFL Draft? I think so.

(Probably not, but just humor me here people).

PS: Schefty may not want to tweet his mom’s Twitter account with all the animals that are out there on the internet.

Update: Annie Apple has a degree in TV production and English. We already knew the quasi cute part.