Mike Webb For Congress Was Simply Testing Porn Sites For Viruses When He Posted That Screenshot Yesterday

As you might recall from yesterday, Mike Webb for Congress posted the above screenshot to his Facebook page, which then spread like wildfire because he didn’t realize he had open tabs of porn in the screenshot. As I wrote in my blog, it really isn’t a big deal, we all watch porn, and it’s nice to see politicians are into the amateur stuff. A bit crazy that he uses Yahoo for his search engine, but that’s just part of being an old person.

I was hoping he would double down on it instead of taking the “I was hacked” route…but his genius brain came up with something even better:

ARL Now - In an email to ARLnow.com, which he also posted to Facebook, Webb claims that he was testing the whether such sites could have been the source of the alleged “cyber attack” that prevented him from filing a report to the Federal Election Commission on time.
“Curious by nature, I wanted to test the suggestion that somehow, lurking out in the pornographic world there is some evil operator waiting for the one in a gazillion chance that a candidate for federal office would go to that particular website and thereby be infected with a virus that would cause his or her FEC data file to crash the FECfile application each time that it was loaded on the day of the filing deadline, as well as impact other critical campaign systems,” Webb said in a characteristically lengthy message that also included accusations of malfeasance against some critics and local Republican party members.

That’s right, folks. He was going to porn sites to test to see if he was hacked by porn sites. Fucking genius. The ol’ reverse hack. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever which is why it’s so perfect. He had to pull up “Layla Rivera Tight Body” to see if that was the video that randomly had a hold on his political campaign. Absolutely hysterical.

I suppose he re-read what he wrote and then deleted it since that post is now down, replaced by another Facebook post where he talks about how many new Facebook likes he got. That’s the spirit!

Cliff notes of that rambling biblical bullshit: “I watched porn, it helped my campaign, I pretend to love Jesus, amen”.

The funny thing is nobody even cares about anyone watching porn. That only people that care are the bible thumping idiots and politicians who think anyone else really cares. EVERYONE WATCHES PORN! Are we that immature and stupid as a society that we can’t handle a guy running for congress being into tight bodied Latina girls? It’s just porn bro. It’d be crazier and more of a scandal if a man didn’t watch porn. And as far as politics go, Bill Clinton got a hummer in the Oval Office, so a little mid-day jerk sesh isn’t the end of the world.

I’m just glad he deleted the whole “I was testing to see if I was cyber attacked” post, even though it’s funny as shit. Mike Webb should do “Mike Webb for Congress’ Porn Of The Week”. Just double and triple down on it. This dude got demolished in his run for Congress the first time, might as well change it up, pull a 180, and go from the Jesus candidate to the porn candidate. Nothing to lose. “Mike Webb- I beat off, and so do you” has a nice ring to it.