A Florida Stripper Tried To Pull The "Do You Know Who I Am?" Card With Police And Then Ate Her Shirt

Miami Herald- A Key West stripper tried to pull the don’t-you-know-who-I-am card after police say they caught her drunk behind the wheel and hit the gas pedal when told to stop. “You’ll be sorry,” ZyZe McCausland told police several times, according to the arrest report accusing her of drunk driving, a misdemeanor, and a felony count of trying to flee police at high speed. Once detained, McCausland, who police say is 32 while jail records put her at 26, told police to call security at Rick’s bar “because they would tell me not to arrest her,” Officer Jesse Young wrote in his report after the early Sunday morning traffic stop. “Call my lawyer. I don’t understand,” McCausland allegedly said later. McCausland was taken to jail, where after police told her not to put anything into her mouth — after she said she would take a breath alcohol test — she stuffed “a large portion of her shirt into her mouth and began chewing.”

Quite possibly the least famous person in the history of the world to pull the “Do you know who I am?” card with police (minus Shia LaBeouf). The last person on earth who should be pulling that card is a Florida stripper. With that said, if you had given me one guess to the question, “What non-famous group of people are most likely to pull the, ‘do you know who I am?’ card” I probably would’ve guessed Florida strippers because Florida is completely backwards in every way. Strippers down there absolutely think they’re the most important people in the world. As far as her eating her shirt, that’s just her trying to beat the breathalyzer system

McCausland was taken to jail, where after police told her not to put anything into her mouth — after she said she would take a breath alcohol test — she stuffed “a large portion of her shirt into her mouth and began chewing.”

Advertisement

I personally would recommend a loaf of bread. Others would say suck on a penny or eat a mint but sometimes you don’t have a loaf of bread or a penny or a mint. Sometimes you just gotta rip off your shirt (not a new thing for her) and start chomping.

PS- Absolutely still would. Florida baggage and all.