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Marquette Dude Arrested For Staring At Girls Studying In The Library And Jerking Off In The Bookshelves

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Reader Email

Hey Keith,

Interesting story coming out of Marquette University yesterday. A student was caught and arrested for milking himself at Raynor Memorial library. This wasn’t a secretive bathroom stall stress reliever during finals week… This kid was pounding off in the bookshelves while watching a girl study. From what I’m told, he’s been caught JO’ing in public before. Absolutely a serial killer move.

The way I see it, this kid has 2 options going forward. Option 1- dive head first into a wood chipper. Option 2- name change and flee the country. I’d go with the former.

If this kid is somehow not kicked out of school, id love to see Marquette make him go door to door to every dorm room and on campus house explaining that he’s a public sex offender.

Standing literally in the middle of the library staring at girls while they study and jacking off?

Creep game savage AF.

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Really the last thing you need when you’re in the library cramming for Finals just looking to get the fuck out of there for summer. Stress is already maxed out, then you turn around and find some maniac tugging his dick off while making direct eye contact with you. I mean as flattering as that’s gotta be, it’s just not the time or place.