Chicks LOVE Mark Sanchez's Kentucky Derby Cane Flask

When I first saw this video, I thought the cane flask was lame as shit. It seems like the kind of cheap trick you’d bring to a prom or a college theme party. Canes with a hidden flask at The Derby? Why? You’re of age and alcohol is widely accepted, just bring your own flask and drink the drinks they serve, idiot.

Well, turns out I’m the idiot because I neglected to acknowledge the fact that chicks love shiny things.

Girls like babies, or cats. You have something that catches my attention? Guess what, I’m in love with you now. I saw that girl hit orgasm stage one as soon as she realized what Sanhcez was packing in that cane. SHUT THE FUCK UP, she said, licking her lips, as if it was the most marvelous thing that’s ever been created. That’s why you have the cane flask. Bitches love cane flasks. I’m such an idiot for not realizing it sooner.