Cromartie's Sperm "Looking Forward To The Challenge" After His Wife Gets Her Tubes Tied

Via The Source

Antonio Cromartie is the most fertile creature in the history of the planet. After having his 10th child back in 2011, a doctor tried to give him a vasectomy but he might as well of been trying to divert the Nile river with a toothpick. Not only did Cro’s sperm bust through the obstruction in his vas deferens like the kool-aid man, but he loaded his wife up with twins just to show off. Its the sexual equivliant of returning a missed field goal 109 yards. I’m not a big sabermetrics guy but if he has had 17% of his children post-vasectomy, that tells me we should be storing a vat of Cromartie-sauce in a seed bank somewhere in Antartica so in the event of catastrophe the human race can repopulate earth with a horny, but injury-prone society.

His wife Terricka gave birth to the twins on Mothers Day, and to his credit, Antonio acted like he’d been there before. Cromartie’s logged enough hours around a vagina to be considered a common-law midwife so he delivered both babies himself, which was definitely a safer option then letting Buster Skrine try to catch them.

Funniest part is that Terricka is getting her tubes tied which is like laying down a spike strip to stop an asteroid. Building an obstacle course on the way to her ovaries is just going to mean that his swimmers get stronger and more crafty. Live look at one of Cromartie’s sperms encountering a new fallopian road block: