Philippines Elects Rodrigo Duterte, Known For Rape Jokes, Viagra-Fueled Sexcapades, And Promising To Execute 100,000 Criminals
Meet Rodrigo Duterte: the Donald Trump of the #Philippines https://t.co/7mtMley9FV pic.twitter.com/GGz4ZTHShs
— Intl. Business Times (@IBTimes) May 9, 2016
If for some weird reason you have not been in tune with the 2016 Filipino Presidential Election, allow me to introduce to you Rodrigo Duterte. Duterte is the 71-year-old mayor of the city of Davao. He led all opinion polls heading into Monday’s presidential election and he is a SAVAGE.
He really dislikes people that are into drugs, for example: (Fox News)
“All of you who are into drugs, you sons of bitches, I will really kill you,” Duterte told a huge cheering crowd Saturday in his final campaign rally in Manila. “I have no patience, I have no middle ground, either you kill me or I will kill you idiots.”
To be honest, he just doesn’t like criminals at all. He supports vigilante killings of bad guys and this is how he plans to handle them: (CNN)
If elected, he has vowed to execute 100,000 criminals and dump them into Manila Bay. He’s also suggested that he himself has killed people before.
He’s basically the anti-Bernie Sanders; look what he wants to do with all the losers (“do-nothings”):
“If I make it to the presidential palace, I will do just what I did as mayor. You drug pushers, hold-up men and do-nothings, you better go out. Because as the mayor, I’d kill you…”
So, when he’s not threatening to kill everybody, what’s he all about? Well he tells casual rape jokes. About the 1989 rape and murder of an Australian missionary in his city while HE was mayor, he said:
“I was angry she was raped, yes that was one thing. But she was so beautiful, I think the mayor should have been first. What a waste…”
He gives hot takes on “the gays” and the Bible: (Rappler)
“Definitely, the gays were created by God…God made them so [there is a slight error in the Bible]. Adam, Eve, and the gays.”
He wants to give Pfizer an award for Viagra and often defends himself on womanizing and Viagra-fueled sexcapades: (Breitbart)
“I was separated from my wife. I’m not impotent. What am I supposed to do? Let this hang forever,” the 71-year-old said, adding confirmation that “when I take Viagra, it stands up.”
New t-shirts on sale!!
(How long do you think the new guy that Portnoy doesn’t know exists can get away with Portnoy chirps?)
Despite all this, Duterte led by 11 points heading into today’s election. Early results have him ahead and his biggest rival called to concede this afternoon. He’s being called the “Trump of the east,” but according to many even that’s putting it too nicely.
My western journo friends, Duterte is not “Asia’s Trump”. Trump has never boasted about killing people. Trump has never voiced rape lust
— Karl Malakunas (@karlmalakunas) May 8, 2016
Next time you feel inclined to bitch about how much our democracy stinks, how much our elections stink, or how inexplicably difficult voting is, remember you could be Filipino. They’ve got this wacko and at least 5 people have died in the process: (CNN)
Allegations of cheating were rampant around Manila and its southern suburbs.
One woman voter, who declined to be identified, said people representing themselves as allied to a certain politician offered her up to 3,000 pesos ($168) for a vote.
“I declined politely but I know of some who took the money. They were supposed to report back (to the people who offered the bribe) to collect the money,” said the woman.
Scattered incidents of election-related violence caused five deaths in the southern province of Maguindanao, the Army’s Sixth Infantry Division (6ID) told the country’s state-run Philippine News Agency.
PS – If you’re into John Oliver doing his John Oliver thing, he broke this guy down last night. He took much more of a “this guy is really bad for the world” take than my “this guy is a hilarious psychopath” take.