Apparently there are some people out there who haven’t learned the mantra of “Talk shit get hit” so it’s nice of that hefty but seemingly otherwise well-mannered fellow to help enlighten this guy in the plaid. Despite the best effort of liberal arts college black dude (who takes time out of his History of Oppressed Peoples class at Bowdoin to try to keep the peace at IHOPs), some dudes like plaid man just refuse the chance they’ve been given to escape unscathed. Big man with the jorts plumber crack didn’t want to fight, obvious from his deranged scream cries of “You wanna talk shit?” as he punched Mr. Plaid, but he was summoned into duty. He had to teach plaid guy a lesson for the good of everyone in that restaurant and hopefully those who’ll cross paths with a more domesticated version of him in the future. If the plaid guy walks away from this altercation where he got away with acting like a total dickhead, he’d think he’s hot shit and only get worse from there. So we should all thank the big guy for being willing to give up a peaceful pancake meal to try to make the world a better place by not letting the plaid douche win.
Also IHOP legitimately could have sponsored this blog right? I feel like the headline referring to the pancakes as “delicious and affordable” probably stirred up some cravings even with a reader knowing there’s a chance of a trash bag fight going down there. If this were an ad, I’d close it with a new slogan of “IHOP: Enjoy Your Blueberry Syrup And Next Time Don’t Talk Shit To Some Fat Fuck While He’s Trying To Enjoy His Rooty Tooty Fresh N Fruity.” Your loss IHOP.