Big news for our lovely city, turns out that sometimes, in the wee hours of the morning when all contributing members of society are soundly asleep, young people are drinking and doing drugs! I know, I’m just as appalled as you are. They’re drinking rum, listening to dance music, and smoking drugs at wildly irresponsible hours!
The craziest part of all of this is the fact that some people are even profiting off of this. Yeah, there are folks who organize these underground “parties” then charge people for things like entry and cups of happy juice. You say “yeah, that’s called a frat party,” Channel 5 says “You mean a dangerous gathering of youths?”
Gotta give it up to these undercover journos, though. So young but still willing to lay their life on the line to get that meaty story. I haven’t seen someone immerse themselves in a character like this since my last Daniel Day Lewis film. You think they’re just regular kids, trying to have a good time and then BAM, you’re busted, courtesy of the Northeastern journalism program. I’m sure this was worth ruining their social standing for their remaining years at college, though. Future employers love the reporters that aren’t afraid of the big story so any time you can narc and shine a light on the fact that young people party, you gotta do it.