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Sriracha is Relentless in Their Pursuit to Ruin Everything I Like - Will Now Be a Flavor of Vodka


BizJ - Phillips Distilling Co. is adding some spice with the newest flavor in its UV Vodka line. The Minneapolis-based company is now selling UV Sriracha Vodka in liquor stores, the company said Monday. Phillips said its Sriracha-flavored vodka has a proprietary blend of chili peppers, garlic and vegetables and is the first of its kind. Sriracha is a hot sauce named after the city of Si Racha in Thailand. Phillips is making its own blend, so its vodka won’t be affected by concerns over a possible sriracha shortage. UV Sriracha is the 20th variety in the UV vodka line, joining flavors like UV Candy Bar, UV Salty Watermelon, UV Sweet Green Tea and its popular UV Blue. “UV Sriracha is not too hot, not too spicy and the ideal vodka to punch up a Bloody Mary or any savory drink,” Phillips Director of Research and Development Jim Aune said in a press release.

The more I see Sriracha, the more I dislike it. It’s overkill. It’s like how I can’t look at an Anchorman 2 commercial anymore. The first 300 were okay, 301 broke me. I was bothered by Sriracha being everywhere, as I think it’s massively overrated, but I didn’t hate it. But I think now I hate it because they are putting their hat in the vodka game. It’s unnecessary.

When you are the new hotness on the streets, you have to be wanted. The more you’re out there, the less people care about you, and the more they want to find some new hipster thing to like. What was the last time you played Angry Birds? How quickly did you delete Candy Crush once every fucking person in the universe thought it was a good idea to send you invitations to put them on the train to the next level? How many times have you heard people say they liked X band “before they were popular”? Infinity? Well, it looks like Sriracha is going that way, and I couldn’t be happier. The more mainstream they get, the more 19 year olds drinking its vodka, the more the hipsters who pretend it’s the second coming of Jesus will hate it.


PS: If you didn’t go through a flavored vodka stage, you are an alien. My first flavored vodka stage was vanilla smirnoff. Drank it like rabbits fuck. Vanilla vodka with Wild Cherry Pepsi all day. Vanilla vodka with Dr. Pepper. Vanilla vodka straight up. Then came Pinnacle Whipped Cream vodka. EVERYONE had a whipped cream vodka stage. The first time you mixed that with orange juice you felt like a chemist who just created a new element. I was fairly sure I was going to be famous until I learned I was 6 months late to the game. Regardless, flavored vodkas were a staple, and I still have vanilla vodka in my rotation.