Dude Blows A .604 (!!!) And Gets A DUI With His Kids Just Chillin In The Backseat

ESTERO – An Estero father is accused of being so drunk, he should be brain dead. Lee County Sheriff’s deputies arrested Stephen Allbritton Friday morning. They say he was passed out behind the wheel of his SUV with his kids in the backseat. Deputies say he was unresponsive and after they took him to the hospital, doctors found out just how intoxicated he was. Allbritton’s blood alcohol content was measured at .604 — more than seven times the legal limit. Jackie Mason of Estero couldn’t believe it when she heard it. “Horrifying, you’ve got the kids’ lives, you’ve got his life, you could destroy them,” said Mason. “The kids are probably terrified, traumatized because they don’t know, ‘Did dad suddenly drop dead?'” Two decades ago, Mason’s husband Larry made the mistake of drinking and driving and got a DUI, but he’s been sober ever since.

Should my first thought when I read about a guy driving his kids around while rocking a .604 BAC be a line from a Will Ferrell movie? No probably not but that’s the first thing I thought. Sue me. Obviously this is reckless behavior and driving drunk is super fucking stupid and it’s SUPER DUPER fucking stupid with kids in the car……….but damn. .604! Put it in the record books! The article says he should be brain dead! That’s honestly the craziest shit I’ve ever heard. You hear stories of people blowing .3s and .4s and you just assume they’re dead. .4s especially because that’s UP THERE. I’ve honestly never even a heard of anybody blowing a .5 anything but this guy skipped that entirely. It’s like the sad version of nobody in the NBA ever hitting 300 three pointers in a season and Steph Curry steps up and hits 400. It’s unprecedented. And of course the dude is from Florida. Just wow.

PS- The fact that he’s not just a puddle of drunken goo in his mug shot is also astonishing. He’s looks pretty damn alert for a guy who should be brain dead.