It's Time For Us, As Human Beings, To Finally Embrace Pierre McGuire's Weirdness
Pierre McGuire is a weirdo. Pierre McGuire is creepy. Pierre McGuire exhibits certain characteristics that would lead you to believe he’d be a serial killer if he didn’t have hockey as an outlet. He’s meticulous, he’s methodical, and he’s so socially awkward in the majority of situations that you get 2nd hand embarrassment through your TV screen. But the man knows his shit about the game of hockey and those who play it, and he loves what he does. Which is why I don’t get how he’s become Hockey Twitter’s #1 Most Hated Man in the World over the past 5 or so years.
I said this over the weekend but every group of friends needs a Pierre McGuire. He’s the friend that everybody loves the hate but you’d hate it even more if he weren’t there at all. Sure, his love affair with the Pittsburgh Penguins gets annoying from time to time. Sure, it’s not too far-fetched to think he’d give Sidney Crosby a mid-game tugger in between periods if Sid asked for one. But the amount of hate he gets on a nightly basis has reached a tipping point. It’s gotten to the point now where people hate on Pierre just because they think they’re supposed to hate on Pierre. And this is where we say enough is enough. This is where we put our foot down and start to embrace this dork for the fucking loser that he is.
There are plenty of people to hate in hockey. Mike Milbury for starters. Tom Wilson after that. Add in all the Hockey Twitter PC Policeman who have been outed by internet creeps and all of a sudden your hate quota is starting to fill up pretty damn quick. So why waste some of that hate on a man just because he knows which players were teammates in peewees together and the hometown rink that every NHL player grew up on? Did I necessarily need to know that John Tavares wears #91 because he and Stamkos played on the same team one summer and #19 was already given to him? Not exactly. But I’d be lying if I said I don’t at least appreciate all that useless knowledge Pierre brings to the broadcast. You mix those useless tidbits of knowledge with his horrible social skills and you have some A+ quality unintentional comedy. I’m telling you right now that life is better when you just let go of your hatred toward Pierre and just embrace him.
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Unless you hate Pierre for ruining the Hartford Whalers. In which case you have every right to hate this man.