"The Last Time I Was This High, I Was Trying To Decide On My Major" - Barack Obama

Look I don’t give a goddamn what your politics are, the president of the United States standing in front of a bunch of journalists and joking about how he used to smoke weed is funny. Vote red or blue, it’s funny. That’s “I’m on my way out the door and I don’t give a motherfuck what you guys say anymore” to the max, gotta respect it.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it sucks that we’re not gonna have a cool president next year. This isn’t even about the drug smoking, though that is the quickest way to get cool, but Obama is just cool up there. You have to admit that. We always have cool presidents, it’s kind of our thing: Obama, Bush, Big Willie Clinton, Bush… all I’ve ever known is charismatic, cool dudes as POTUS. Next year, no matter who wins, we have to have some fuckass and it’s gonna suck.

PS – Crushing Hillary was pretty good too. Not as funny as talking about being high while picking majors, but probably more true.

Ted Cruz wasn’t safe either. Come here Teddy, you freaky Cuban Canadian Alien nerd, and let Barry stuff you in a locker.

PPS – Remember five years ago when Seal Team Six was shooting Bin Laden in the fucking head while this dinner was going on? That was pretty awesome.