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And Here's Roger Goodell Dabbing On Stage At The NFL Draft

I’m seething, ladies and gentlemen. Seething. In my entire life, I’ve never felt a hatred like I feel for this man. Everything he does makes me want to put on Limp Bizkit and break stuff. I feel like this is how supervillains are created, they obtain a hatred that burns so hot and so deep that there’s no other option aside from violence. Death is the only cure for the rage I feel. Remember in Street Fighter when Blanka was created by being forced to watch a bunch of horrible imagery? That’s what would happen to me. Stick me in a tube, show me nonstop footage and photographs of Roger Goodell, and I’ll come out a green, murderous beast who only has a taste for NFL commissioner blood.