I Don't Understand Papi's Quote About Deflategate But I Love It Nonetheless

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(Source)David Ortiz is either mixing metaphors or mixing breakfast. The Red Sox slugger was asked Monday about Tom Brady’s reinstated suspension and came back with a baffling response. “When you fight eggs with a rock, the eggs never win,” Ortiz told WEEI — possibly referring to a single player having to go up against the entire NFL.

This sounds like some twisted version of rock, paper, scissors but yet I can’t get enough of it. When you fight eggs with a rock, the eggs never win. Genius. Papi is going all Confucius on us and dropping coded wisdom. What exactly does this mean? Who’s the egg and who’s the rock? I don’t fucking know, but it’s brilliant. I feel like Papi kinda hit this quote like Michael Scott when he’s talking to Jo Bennett, “I’ll cover his ass like moss on a Mississippi tree stump.” It’s not a phrase, it doesn’t really make sense, but it just works. When soft shelled objects, presumably a single player, fight a lifelong mainstay, like the NFL, then they lose. Such an enlightened quote from David Ortiz. Really makes you think.