Chinese Scientists Find A Way To Grow Rudimentary Teeth Out Of Urine, They Invented Piss Teeth

(Newser) – It’s a scientific feat equal parts fascinating and stomach-turning: Scientists have been able to grow “rudimentary teeth” from urine, reports the BBC. Suspend your disbelief, and read on: The Chinese team’s process, as outlined in Cell Regeneration Journal, had researchers harvest cells from urine and then convert them into stem cells; these were combined with material from a mouse and transferred into the creature. Three weeks later, a tooth-like structure began to emerge: It “contained dental pulp, dentin, enamel space, and enamel organ,” the researchers say.

“The final dream of total regeneration of human teeth” is still a distant prospect, they caution. One hurdle: The “teeth” they grew were not as hard as our teeth, perhaps because they weren’t used as they developed, reports the New Scientist. And that’s not the only issue. Among the others: figuring out how to grow a specific size and shape. “It doesn’t take a genius to figure out there’s a big difference between an incisor and a molar tooth,” says one researcher in the field of regenerative dental medicine. And then there’s that urine. A British stem cell scientist calls it “probably one of the worst sources” of stem cells, due to the relative dearth of cells in it and the increased contamination risk. Countered the study’s head researcher, “This is the most convenient source.”

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Here’s my question, what fucking sicko came up with the idea for this? I mean I assume all the Chinese scientists sit around and have brainstorming sessions right? Someone brings the bagels, someone brings the coffee, everyone brings their 3 best ideas type of thing. I’ve been in a real office before. I know how this shit works. So who was the guy that raised his hand and was like hey, I’ve got an idea, lets make teeth out of piss. Just a mouth full of piss teeth. Who is that guy? I want to talk to him. That’s a brain I want to pick. The guy that thought the best way to advance science was to take a bucket of urine and regenerate it into teeth. Bet he’d be interesting to have a beer with.

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I know that this is stem cell research and everything but in my mind I feel like all they’re doing is taking an ice tray, pissing into it, making urine ice cubes, spray painting them white, then walking around pretending the cubes are their teeth. At least that’s how I’d go about making piss teeth.