Father's Day Collection - Available Now At The Barstool Store SHOP HERE


Dumbest Fast Food Manager Ever Was Run Over By A Car While Trying To Get A Teen To Pay For The Soda He Put In A Water Cup

Screen Shot 2016-04-20 at 11.43.15 AM

Seriously, every part of this story is my favorite. What a perfect story. Every paragraph is packed with wonderfulness. Let us read:

Paragraph 1, just summarizing the entire crime:

Cody Morris, 18, was arrested Monday for putting soda inside a water cup at a Springdale McDonald’s, refusing to return the soda, according to the police report sent to 40/29 News.

Your standard arrest for putting soda in the water cup. Imagine if they arrested everyone who did that? Our jails would be overflooded with people who committed victimless crimes. But then when the details start coming in, that’s when it gets good.

Paragraph 2:

The manager told police he tried to stop the suspects from driving away, but he was hit by their car, according to the report.

Hah what? This is becoming my new favorite story to blog about. When fast food managers/Walmart employees really, reallyyyyyy care about their job to the point they put their life on the line for a cup of soda. Guess what, McDonald’s manager? It ain’t worth it. 20 ounces of Sprite isn’t worth getting run over. I get that if you stand for nothing for fall for anything, but you’re a McDonald’s manager, maybe just get home in one piece instead of getting run over because some kid took 3 cents worth of soda.

Paragraphs 3 and 4:

The manager for the McDonald’s at 520 S. Thompson St. called police Monday to report a robbery, according to the report. The manager told police 3 people went through the drive thru and asked for 3 large waters. Those 3 parked, went into the restaurant, dumped out the water and then filled the cups with soda, the manager told police. The manager asked the 3 people to return the soda. Two of them did, but one did not, the manager told police.

He called the police to report a ROBBERY. Not that he was hit by a car, but a robbery. Think about that. He didn’t call 911 because this kid just ran him over, he called 911 because he was so pissed the kid filled up the water cup with soda. He literally filed a police report that 3 kids ordered waters and then went inside to get soda. Total cost of crime: 11 cents? Imagine having enough time to file a police report about 3 punk kids filling a water cup with soda. Imagine caring about that. What a life. Poor police officers who had to actually do paper work for this.

Paragraph 5:

Then, the manager stood behind the suspect’s car and tried to stop them from leaving, according to the report, but the car reversed and hit the manager. The manager tried to get the keys out of the ignition and was hit on the hand and then by the vehicle again, the manager told police.

Not only did he stand behind a moving car, but he tried to take the keys out of the ignition! I’m dying laughing because these kids were definitely high as shit like “what the fuckkkk is this dude doing??” I’m imagining some frumpy ass McDonalds manager reaching into a car, trying to pull keys out like “you darned kids! You’ll pay for this!” before getting hit and left in the dust with his stupid McDonald’s visor laying next time him in the dirty parking lot. What a sad scene.


Paragraphs 6 and 7:

Police found the vehicle at a bowling alley and arrested the driver, who was Cody Morris, according to the report. The police report lists one charge against Morris – that of felony robbery. The Washington County Detention Center website shows Morris was booked into jail Tuesday, and had a Rule 8.1 hearing scheduled for Friday morning.

The police actually arrested the driver. But not for running the guy over, but for felony robbery. They arrested him for filling his water cup with soda. That was the only charge. Not for purposely backing into the McDonald’s guy, but because he didn’t dump out his soda. Incredible.

I do have the give the McDonald’s manager credit though. He won. He stood up for himself and his job and by god did he win. He got a kid arrested for taking 20 ounces of soda. Score one for the little guy. Score one for the McDonald’s employees who get cursed at all day because the fries aren’t ready. The McD’s manager had enough and took a stand and it only took him getting run over, but he won. Props to him for that. One person who fills a water cup with soda down, 10 billion people who fill a water cup with soda to go.