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Cherry Hill Native Bobby Ryan Thinks He's Hot Shit Beating Up On Beer Leaguers

Not exactly sure how I feel about this. Anybody who plays beer league plays for one reason and one reason only. Because somewhere in the back of that stupid mind of yours, you still think there’s the slightest chance in the world that your dream is still alive. You get an ice slot or two per week and start thinking to yourself that maybe if you worked a little harder when you were younger, you could have at least done something with the sport. Instead you were just a PK specialist on your high school team (euphemism for “you had zero offensive skill”) and that was that. But it’s the false reality of beer league that keeps you coming back from more. You score 2 goals against a bunch of divorced guys and automatically you think you could have been the next Gordie Howe if you applied yourself. Well in comes Cherry Hill Native Bobby Ryan to put your shitty dreams to rest and let you know that you were just a PK specialist in high school because you sucked, not because you didn’t work hard enough.

Couple of things here. 1) Bobby Ryan must not be THAT confident in himself if these are only $100 wagers. He’s got 6 more years left on his contract at $7.25m AAV. $100 may seem like a lot to a piss poor blogger like myself but Bobby Ryan could tape his socks with $100 bills. 2) These challenges all stink. If you sign up to go 1v1 with Cherry Hill Native Bobby Ryan, then it needs to be a real 1v1. I’m talking Gordon Bombay vs Wolf “The Dentist” Stansson 1v1. Blueline take back, shoot for posts, no holds barred.

So I guess this is my official challenge offer to Bobby Ryan. In case you didn’t know, Bobby Ryan is actually from Cherry Hill, New Jersey. People always seem to forget about that. So he’s right outside of Philly and if he ever wants to make a trip back home this summer, I know a blogger who Pres probably doesn’t even know exists that could use a quick $100. Pucks on your stick, Robert.