Breakthrough Tattoo Removal Cream Is Essentially A Cure For Stupidity, And I May Need It After This Weekend


CBC – Alec Falkenham, a 27-year-old PhD student in the university’s pathology department, is developing a topical cream that he says will make tattoo ink eventually fade away. “When comparing it to laser-based tattoo removal, in which you see the burns, the scarring, the blisters, in this case, we’ve designed a drug that doesn’t really have much off-target effect,” he said. “We’re not targeting any of the normal skin cells, so you won’t see a lot of inflammation. In fact, based on the process that we’re actually using, we don’t think there will be any inflammation at all and it would actually be anti-inflammatory.”

I don’t like it one bit. Like I said in the title, it’s essentially a cure for stupidity, and we need to identify our idiots. You can’t take what’s already been done in life. If I had a nickel for every thing I regret or wanted to do-over I’d be a billionaire by now. But I suppose there’s going to be a lot of happy people when this magical cream hits the shelves. Finally, every broad with a tramp stamp or douchebag with a barbed wire tat has a second chance for society. Go through a period in life and ended up looking like something out of American History X? Wipe those Swastika’s away. You’re now employable again. Or were you apart of that girl craze for Chinese symbols? All the betches thought they were so original getting a mark of “Princess” when it in reality could have meant “Cunt Muscle” and nobody would know. Fixed. The only people that should be barred from purchasing this product are those who willing got ink on their face and anyone who would get “Welcome Aboard” tatted on their dick. The former so we can keep tabs on the wildcards in humanity, the latter because that’s still hilarious.

RIP to the bullseyes. So many possible 180’s are going to vanish away overnight.

PS – If my left buttcheek shall forever be tarnished by a Princess this weekend, then it’s God’s will. Keep this sulfuric acid cream the fuck away from my hiney.