Hypothetically Speaking, How Much Money Would You Pay For The Royal Baby To Come Out Black?


London (CNN) — As a nation and the world awaited news of a child who could one day sit on the British throne, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, was experiencing a normal labor Monday morning, Kensington Palace said.

The duchess and Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, traveled by car from Kensington Palace to the Lindo Wing at St. Mary’s Hospital, his office at Clarence House announced at 7:37 a.m. (2:37 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time.) Kensington Palace issued a progress report about 90 minutes later.

The hospital, next to Paddington Station in London, is where William and his brother Prince Harry were born.


So I guess Kate Middleton went into labor this morning and now everyone in the world (read – british people and American house wives that sit at home and watch the View all day) are all waiting with bated breath for the Royal Baby to appear. Like Brian Fantana on Panda Watch only 10 million times more intense. Anyway, it got me thinking, because obviously the common man doesn’t give a fuck about something like this, what would make you tune in and watch? And the answer is, plain and simple, a black baby.


If Kate Middleton gets caught cheating in the most aggressive/embarrassing way. I can’t even imagine what the Royal Family would do. I mean that would be so fucked up for anyone, but could you imagine it happening to literally the whitest family of all time? The Queen would 100% die from a heart attack. Pretty sure the rest of the family would just switch the baby out and murder everyone in the hospital. And if they didn’t do that what would they do? Leave the baby in a church doorstep? Send it down a river? Do what the Chinese do with their girl babies and put it up immediately for adoption/throw it in the woods? I can’t even imagine, it would just be the greatest thing to ever happen. A black royal baby. Straight up Steve Nash’d right in the Royal Families eyeball. If there was a way to start a hypothetical kickstarter to make this happen I would pay 2k easily. Wouldn’t be able to pay rent but it would be worth it.