The San Jose Sharks New Model/Goalie Stinks At Modeling

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(Source)The Sharks signed the goalie to a contract Monday morning, immediately making him the most handsome player in the league (sorry, Henrik Lundqvist). In addition to being a hockey player, Armalis is also a male model, and has done modeling gigs for Versace at Milan Fashion Week. Donatella Versace once said of Amalis, “Versace needs faces and bodies like Mantas, the strong gladiator-like build and muscular thighs.”

I’m not afraid to admit that this dude is hot as hell, he is. I’m not even going to use the “That guy is hot but I don’t want to seem gay” lingo and call him “handsome” or “a sharp looking guy,” that would be an insult to Mantas Armalis. He’s hot and there’s no other way to describe him. It’s not fair that a guy can look like that and be a professional athlete, but that’s the world we live in. If I’m this envious of this guy then just imagine being Henrik Lunqvidst, or whatever that guy’s name is, today. One day you’re known as the best looking goalie in the NHL then one morning you wake up and Mantas Armalis is signing contracts in between Milan runway shots.

But, as the internet does with beautiful people, it’s time to knock Mantas down a peg. You stink at modeling, bro. You stink bad. You’re great at looking pretty but what in the world is with this turn?

You’re not an ambiturner, dude? You can’t turn right? Huge, huge red flag. I mean I’m not a professional runway score giver, I’m not David Bowie, but that right turn is a disaster. You look like you just saw your ex-girlfriend coming down the street so you had to runaway. It’s like a fucking GPS just re-routed you. Frankly, I’m not even sure you can call yourself a model with moves like that.

So while Twitter, Sharks fans, and puck sluts may be losing their minds for you, remember one thing, Mantas. Remember that this blogger remains unimpressed by your runway skills. Yeah, hurts doesn’t it?



EDITORS NOTE – Lundquist cums on this guy. Not even close. Boy vs. MAN. Those baby blues just made me turn 1/4 gayball.