Big Blue Update: JPP Discusses The Night He Blew His Fingers Off With GRAPHIC Images, ODB Dances Like A Maniac At Drake's House
Thanks for clearing that up, Jason. I wasn’t sure of the exact details of how you blew a few digits off your hand, millions of dollars out of your bank account, and another 10 sacks or so off of last year’s team, but now I know. So thanks, I guess?
Then again, I suppose it is better for JPP to leak details about his private life instead of waiting for Adam Schefter to do it for him. Just promise me this is the last set of gruesome pictures we get from that night.
However, the real story here is that people in Florida apparently light off real deal Holyfield fireworks in the middle of a main street. What the fuck is wrong with that goddamn state? I thought this was done in JPP’s backyard of a gated community after a few too many Bud heavies. Nope, just popping off mortars, M80s, or some shit in the middle of some residential and commercial mish mosh. I am too big of a pussy to hold onto the tail of a bottle rocket and keep Roman candles as far away from my body whenever I muster up the gumption to actually hold them. And that’s usually in a backyard with a few people around. Florida never lets me down. Keep doing you, Sunshine State. Just promise me you will try not to maim any more Giants for at least a few more years.
And after seeing that picture of JPP’s hand, I promise to no longer make any hand jokes after this blog, as long as he stops dropping new hand pictures on us from the clouds like 2Pac continues to drop albums.
#NeverForget
In happier news, here is what’s going on at Drake’s house:
Yesterday I wrote how I didn’t think that it made sense for two grown men to just randomly be living together like that. I didn’t realize that there was a giant dance party happening. I was thinking it was just two guys hanging out, playing video games, popping off a few Snaps, and calling it a night. Nope. Odell apparently had his boys over to work on their expressional dance routine. Sure it seems a little fruity, but if that what floats Odell’s boat, God bless him. Keep dancing and not touching any fireworks, ODB. Good clean fun. Just boys being boys. Absolutely, positively nothing wrong with it. If those hammies can handle those cheerleader jumps, keep doing them Odell.
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I knew I had seen those moves before.
This blog just ran through a gamut of emotions, which basically makes it the 2015 Giants season in word form, with poor grammar and Twitter videos replacing last-second, soul crushing touchdowns and field goals by our opponents.
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