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Flyers At Least Salvage A Point Against Toronto But This Is A Meltdown Of Epic Proportions


Flyers 3, Maple Leafs 4(39-27-14)


The Flyers have had 3 straight chances to all but solidify them a spot in the playoffs. They came out against Pittsburgh on Sunday as flat as could be and got rolled by the Pens. They came out against Detroit last night as flat as could be and got worked by the Red Wings. Then last night against the 29th worst team in the NHL, the Flyers came out as flat as could be against Toronto and found themselves in an early 2-0 hole against the Maple Leafs. Three straight games that they weren’t able to show up for from the start. A win in any of those games and the Flyers would have had that fancy little lower case x by their name at this point. Fuck everything. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck the sky, fuck squirrels, fuck your aunt, and fuck sports. The good news is that thanks to this Wayne Simmonds goal last night, the Flyers are still in control of their own destiny.

If the Flyers win their last two games against the season, they’re in. But the have Pittsburgh on Saturday, who they haven’t beaten in over a calendar year. And then they have the Islanders in Brooklyn on Sunday and I’ll be taking the trip up to Barclays Center for that so you already know that they’re going to lose. If the Bruins lose on Saturday, then the Flyers still need to get 2 points out of the weekend. Because if they both end with 93 points, then the Flyers get bumped out because of their lower ROW number. The fact that these idiots have only managed to get 1 point out of the last 3 games doesn’t have me feeling even close to confident heading into the weekend. In fact, I’m almost certain that the Flyers are in the middle of D.E.N.N.I.S. System-ing the entire city of Philadelphia again. Think about it.


During this last stretch of the season, the Flyers have Demonstrated value by getting themselves to this point and looking like a team that not only could be in the playoffs, but should be. They went 7-2-1 at one point over a 10-game stretch and were clicking on all cylinders. They Engaged physically by getting the entire city behind them again. They took the city from behind and gently put themselves inside all of us. They got Philly sports radio to finally talk about the Flyers. Do you have any idea how rare that is? Sure, that fat fuck Josh Innes may be a jinx and the reason why the team sucks now but still, the Flyers made this city a hockey city again for a little while. They Nurtured dependence by being the only Philly team in the past  2 years to make the playoffs. This city is starving for a winner again and for at least a month or so, the Flyers were that team. One of the hottest teams in the entire league and looking to #MakeSomeNoise in the Stanley Cup Playoffs against a Capitals team they’ve had no problems with this year. But then what comes next in the D.E.N.N.I.S. System?

Neglect emotionally. Which is exactly what these last 3 games this week have been. It’s exactly what leads to goals against like this

And this…

Yo. What in the actual fuck is Andrew MacDonald doing on this play? Like where is that asshole skating? Why is he cycling down the half boards instead of just holding the point and preventing a break like this? It’s baffling how horrible Andrew MacDonald is at this level. Before any hardo comes along and says “he’s a million times better at hockey than you’ll ever be”, yeah, no shit I know that. But Andrew MacDonald belongs nowhere near the game of hockey at the NHL level. It’s pathetic.

But then the Flyers still managed to Inspire hope with that Wayne Simmonds goal last night. They Inspired hope when they put playoff tickets up for sale on April 6. There’s still a chance the Flyers find themselves back in that 2nd Wild Card spot by the end of the night on April 10. It’s not completely over just yet. But I think we all know what is coming. That final S. Separate entirely. The 2015-16 Philadelphia Flyers are going to walk out of our lives and never come back again. For better or for worse, I suppose. But that, my friends, is the story about how the 2015-16 Philadelphia Flyers have D.E.N.N.I.S. System’d the city of Philadelphia. A story that we’re all much too familiar with at this point.