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Red Sox Opening Day Postponed Because It's Cold Out

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WHAT. THE. FUCK. I waited six months to see David Price take the ball for the first time in a Red Sox uniform, and these motherfuckers in Cleveland postponed the game because it’s COLD outside? Are you fucking KIDDING me? It’s CLEVELAND! It’s ALWAYS cold there. Why would you start the season in a place where you know that it’s going to be cold in the first week of April, just so that you can postpone the game because it’s fucking cold outside? There’s no rain or snow in the forecast. None. We just want to do our best to protect the players from runny noses. Mother of god. LeBron being from Cleveland makes so much sense now.

And on top of all that, it’s pretty much going to be the exact same weather tomorrow.

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So now, we go from having a 4 o’clock game where you guys can skip out on work an hour early to catch the game, to a 1 o’clock game where now you guys are going to be stuck at work. I mean, not to rub it in your face, but it makes no difference to me. However, I’m mad FOR you guys, because I was living that cube life two months ago, and I would be furious if this happened while I was still depending on Microsoft Excel sheets to pay my bills. Unreal. Season’s off to a tremendous start.

Oh, by the way, to all the Cleveland Stoolies. Be careful on your commute home, because it’s COLD outside! Wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you out there!