The Florida Panthers Took Two Egregious Penalties Last Night For Fans Throwing Plastic Rats On The Ice
Before we get started here, let’s clap it up real quick for all the ladies in attendance last night.
Sup girls? Now back to the story here. In case you’re a little new to the game and have absolutely no idea what in the fuck rubber rats and the Florida Panthers have to do with each other, here’s a real quick SparkNotes for ya.
– In ’96, Scott Mellanby killed a rat in the locker room before the team’s home opener and then scored 2 goals later that game with the same stick. So naturally, that became known as the Rat Trick and throughout the rest of the season, Panther fans would shower the ice with rubber rats after every goal. The Panthers won the Eastern Conference championship that year but there was a rule put in against that offseason against throwing objects on to the ice because the NHL hates fun and it hates all of you.
Fast forward to last night as the Florida Panthers decided to hand out 10,000 rubber rats to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the 1996 team that won the Eastern Conference championship. I guess the Panthers thought that fans would be able to have enough self control and keep the rubber rats to themselves as commemorative pieces of memorabilia. What what a bunch of fucking idiots they were. Because after being warned the first time about throwing rats on the ice, this happened.
Two minutes? Well worth it.
But that wasn’t the end of it. The Panthers later scored again in the 3rd period sealing up a 3-2 win and keeping them in 1st place in the Atlantic. But another goal led to another shower of rubber rats which led to another 2 minute penalty which led to the conspiracy theorists in the building to get their takes getting thrown in the fire pit to heat up.
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Hell, even the legend himself was buying into this theory. And he has a few choice words for the officiating crew after the game.
Hey, refs. If you piss off Jaromir Jagr, you piss off the entire world. Figure it the fuck out, quit being a bunch of bitches and just let the rats fly. It’s called living a little. You should try it sometime. Sure, maybe the Panthers should have been a little smarter and start handing out thousands and thousands and thousands of rubber rats all willy-nilly but sue them for trying to sell the game and grow the game of hockey. The refs are a bunch of gutless pussies and we can only hope they call it both ways if the Panthers and Bruins end up finding themselves playing each other in the playoffs.