Chris Christie's M&M Eating Logic Is Flawless




Friday night that first tweet went viral as hell, this morning Christie went on radio to clear the air (video in the second tweet). I’ve gotta say, nothing but respect for Christie’s snacking now. The man made perfect sense. Why have two containers? Where’s the logic in that? You could argue that it would be simpler for Christie to just use the small bag and dispose of the box altogether, but that’s idiotic. You ever poured candy into your mouth right out of the bag? It’s a disaster. The bag is flimsy, it gets soggy and gross when put to your mouth, and the candy gets lost in the corners. That doesn’t happen with the box. When you pour the candy back into the box then you’ve created a wide mouth, sturdy disposal service for yourself. It feels better in the palm of your hand and you’re never left flicking at a little slit with your tongue, as we all know what a difficult task that can be.

Make fun of Christie’s policies, make fun of Bridgeghazi, make fun of the fact that he’s Trump’s little puppet. But never question the man’s snack eating techniques. I feel bad for ever laughing at that picture in the first place. Laughing at Christie’s snacking is like laughing at Gallilo for supporting heliocentrism: it may be the popular thing to do at one time, but when he explains himself and you’re all proven wrong, you’re gonna feel like a big idiot.
Ps – The bag in boxes is BULLSHIT. I get so mad every time I buy a big box and there’s a fucking fun sized bag stuck down at the bottom. In fact, I don’t think it would be crazy to argue that those bags are, in fact, smaller than your standard bag.