This seems like a joke, but it might really be our best option. Yeah, he may not have college degree but all of the current candidates do and they’re proving to be idiots more and more every day. The current candidates stink and Jeter has all of the qualities we need in a President, so I left a sign outside of his house to let him know.
Leadership: The Yankees have been around for 103 years and in that time they’ve only had 11 captains. By comparison America has been around 239 years and has had 43 Presidents. Jeter is a leader in a more exclusive club and he had to do it with the New York media. In 2014 he even ranked at #11 as a world leader according to Fortune. None of the current candidates ranked ahead of him.
International Relations: Did you see Cuba earlier this week? He’s a name known around the world, and he’s been in fights with women of all races and creeds. What more could you ask for?
Fiscal Policy: Jeter made $265mil on the field and a ton more off of it; All while never having any kind of money or tax problems. This shows that he understands financial responsibility. Plus, he’s going to have a team supporting him that can make up for his lack of range in this space, like a good 3rd basemen. Sounds like a spot for A-Rod in the cabinet.
Crime And Race Relations: Coming from a mixed race family, Jeter is the perfect person to close the divide between races. He understands the problems that come with being a person of color in America. On the other hand, he also knows what cops go through having lived in NYC during 9/11… and also by getting shot by Mark Wahlberg in “The Other Guys”. No other candidate can tout that kind of connection to the people.
I know there’s a lot of other important things that go into being President but Jeter has the personality to carry him through any of his short comings. He’d also get a whole staff that can walk him through anything he doesn’t know. Along with his friend and confidant, Jorge Posada as his running mate, Jeter is the man we need to put in the White House in 2016.
“Proven winners, for a proven country”