eBay – Up for auction and fresh out of a NJ estate of a former employee of Chris Christie is a dark blue, heavy cotton gym shorts. Waist size roughly 60 inches. These shorts were won at a fundraising auction by the Governor at the beginning of his term.. Chris Christie raffled off the shorts and signed them at the event. The pants say “stay in shape best wishes chris Christie gov. NJ. ” the former owner of the pants is willing to sell them because he is disillusioned about the Situation involving Christie and Trump. We cannot guarantee that the shorts were ever worn by the owner, they probably were, but no film footage, but if not satisfied we will give your money back. Once in a lifetime chance to own something unique, soon the whole crazy mess will be over.
You know what the craziest part of this is? Those look too tiny. 60 inches doesnt seem like enough to conquer Chris Christies MegaFupa.
Perhaps if you tucked it underneath you could get away with those shorts. But if we’re talking about the equator of Chris Christies gut, theres no way you can get away with anything less than 80 inches. You been a size 80 and a team of staffers to get Big Man Chris Christie into his gym shorts.
And I love his note to all the children out there. “Stay in shape.” These shorts are like an episode of Scared Straight but for The Fats. Like hey just a reminder kids…I used to look like this:
And now I look like this:
Chris Christie’s gym shorts that are the size of a fucking boat sail is this country’s greatest deterrent to obesity. We should fly those things below the American Flag as a reminder to all our citizens not to become morbidly obese.