NJ.com – Easter may be just a week away, but the holiday spirit came to a halt today after a mall bunny found himself tangled up in a brawl. In a video posted on Twitter this evening from Newport Mall in Jersey City, an Easter bunny can be seen exchanging punches with customers waiting online to have photos taken. At the beginning of the video, the bunny — without his floppy ears — is seen being separated from a man wearing a brown shirt. But just seconds after they are taken away from one another, the bunny throws his gloves off and approaches the mall goer again.
We dont know what sparked this brawl, but I’m willing to bet its that a grown ass man was dressing up as a bunny and dealing with a bunch of prick kids and asshole parents. Just a hunch. Pretty sure that might have had something to do with it. I mean dressing up as an Easter Bunny at the Newport Mall is just about rock bottom when it comes to employment. I think I’d rather be broke on the street begging for change in a coffee cup than dress up as the EB in that place. Its one thing to be Santa Claus. At least there’s some prestige being Santa. You can kinda spin that as acting. Hes the most popular character on earth. You’re spreading real happiness and joy. But the Easter Bunny? Nobody gives a FUCK about the easter bunny. I’m actually surprised malls even pay for this shit anymore. Its gotta be fucking peanuts to be EB. And you’re sitting there inside the grimiest mall on the planet earth, inside a rabbit costume like some broke ass mascot, and you’ve sacrificed all your dignity and respect for a couple bucks. Thats a powderkeg, man. All it takes is one dick comment from some asshole parent and that shit explodes.
So the lesson here? Before you complain that your kid didnt get a picture or didnt like sitting on his lap or some shit, just know that you can catch those hands from the Easter Bunny. It aint Christmas, bro. This aint the season of perpetual hope. This is easter. Nobody gives a fuck about easter, and the Easter Bunny doesnt give a fuck about you. Talk shit, get hit. Just eat your chocolate eggs and enjoy your Peeps or you’ll get duffed in the face.