So Marco Rubio Can Never Go Back To Florida After Last Night, Right?

WOOF. Marco Rubio is from Florida, correct? I had to double check because ouch. That’s the ass kicking to end all ass kickings. Nobody has been that hated in their home state since LeBron James circa 2010. Marco can’t show his face in his home state after that. He just can’t. He can no longer claim that he’s from Florida because Florida no longer claims him. I wasn’t a political science major in college but you should probably win your home state. Think about the last time you were at a bar and you saw somebody wearing a shirt of your hometown college team. Bet you guys hugged. Or at least gave a knowing nod. Because you’re from the same place and had the same experiences and that’s cool. That primal instinct alone should’ve won him Florida. Maybe not even win the whole state but he’s gotta win more than one county. One! And it’s the place he was born. Almost like the people of Miami were like, ” Well we gotta vote for him. He’s literally from here” all the while the other 66 counties were tossing on Make America Great Again hats and looking for a protester to punch. Trump with his tiny hands and big dick just humiliated the shit outta Marco. Wild stuff.

And of course Trump couldn’t resist rubbing salt in Marco’s wounds

Unrelated but kind of related. My favorite Miami resident? Trick Daddy. Put him up against Trump in Florida and I bet he wins at least two or three more counties than Marco did. Mostly because this song still bumps and puts a smile on your face every time you hear it.