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Goose Gossage's Super Old Man Rant On The State Of MLB Needs To Be Seen By All Baseball People


RS – “Bautista is a fucking disgrace to the game. He’s embarrassing to all the Latin players, whoever played before him,” Goose raged. “Throwing his bat and acting like a fool, like all those guys in Toronto. [Yoenis] Cespedes, same thing.” Oh, and don’t even get him started on MLB’s increasing reliance on statistics-based analysis, which Gossage says has turned the game into a nerd’s paradise. And there’s no place for that in baseball. Or something “This game is becoming a freaking joke because of the nerds who are running it,” he said. “I’ll tell you what has happened; these guys played rotisserie baseball at Harvard or wherever the fuck they went and they thought they figured the fucking game out. They don’t know shit.” Those same nerds are also apparently responsible for MLB rule changes designed to eliminate home plate collisions and takeout slides at second base. “A bunch of fucking nerds running the game. You can’t slide into second base. You can’t take out the fucking catcher because [Buster] Posey was in the wrong position and they are going to change all the rules. You can’t pitch inside anymore. I’d like to knock some of those fuckers on their ass and see how they would do against pitchers in the old days.” And with that, Gossage grew quiet, perhaps realizing that those old days – nay, his very way of life – was slowly evaporating, an inevitable consequence of time’s inexorable march. Humbled by this, he tugged at his mustache, peered toward the horizon and finally knew that our time is finite and our end final. Just kidding, he blamed computers for ruining everything. “[Pitch counts] have been created from the top, from their computers,” Gossage said. “They are protecting these kids. The first thing a pitcher does when he comes off the mound is ask: ‘How many pitches do I have?’ If I had asked that fucking question, they would have said: ‘Son, get your ass out there on the mound. If you get tired, we’ll come and get you.”

Pres touched on this in the rundown yesterday but it needs to be delved into a bit more. Now my main question is this: Why the hell hasn’t Goose Gossage been mic’d up before? The man entered the hall in ’08 and we haven’t heard from him since. This guy is as bitter old school as it gets, and I love it.

I’ve said everything about the pussification of MLB in a blog last year that basically Gossage stole verbatim in his quotes – MLB Has Turned The National Pasttime Into The Pussiest, Most Boring Sport In America (Sweet line about Posey in the wrong position and changing all the rules. Is Goose a freaking Stoolie?). But he’s mostly correct, with exception to going out of his way to saying certain minorities are a disgrace to their people. It’s only a game, Focker Goose. But he’s I’d like to see Bautista or Harper give a fist pump or a bat flip if Chapman was able to throw some 105 mph chin music without risking suspension. Same goes for pitchers getting excited on the mound. I’d bet they’d calm their tits a bit if it were still honorable for a sauced up, bat wielding Cuban to charge the hill. There’s zero fear in this game anymore, and that leads to players being able to do whatever they want. Again, I explained it all in that academic thesis I wrote last year, but that kind of shit isn’t old school, it’s good school. Unfortunately, school has been out for awhile. Sorry, Cholly.