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When You Want To Spring Break But You Have To Play A Hockey Game Instead


I actually feel for the players on the Muskegon Lumberjacks. Here they are, a bunch of college-aged kids, thinking that they’re living the dream. They’re playing junior hockey instead of giving up on their dreams and just going to State after high school like the rest of their friends who couldn’t hack it. Seems like a pretty sweet gig, except for one week every year. And that week is right now. Because while the Lumberjacks have to practice and play games all week, all of their friends are off to either Panama City Beach or Miami or wherever the hell it is that kids go to spring break these days and they are living it up. Meanwhile, the Lumberjacks just have to sit there in the locker room and live vicariously through Facebook/Instagram posts. I’m sure they’d love to be out on a beach drinking from the moment they wake up until the moment they pass out, seeing endless supplies of titties right up in their face. But the only nudity they’re experiencing right now are the team showers. So what do they go and do? They try to bring Spring Break 2016 to them and dammit, I think it’s working.

I just checked the Lumberjacks roster and unfortunately, it doesn’t look like they have a black kid on the team. Would have been great to see him get his own jersey that wasn’t some pasty white kid who just spent an entire winter bundled up in Michigan. But these uniforms are perfect. Everything about them screams “I’m just here at the beach for the week on vacation”. The floral shorts. The lei’s. I’m almost surprised they didn’t find a way to turn the skates into Nike slides. And if the Muskegon Lumberjacks really want to give their fans the ultimate spring break experience, I think they know what they need to do.