West Virginia Passes A Law Legalizing "Raw Milk." In Other News: West Virginia Lawmakers All Get Very Sick, But Definitely Not From The Celebratory Glasses Of "Raw Milk"

(Source) — In the weeks after passing a bill, allowing West Virginians to drink raw milk, one delegate brought the drink in to celebrate and, eventually, several lawmakers have gotten sick. Some lawmakers say it’s just a coincidence and a stomach bug is going around. Several lawmakers say a delegate who sponsored the bill, Scott Cadle (R – Mason, 13), brought in the drinks. “[Cadle] caught me in the hallway, offered a cup to me, and you want to try to be a gentleman,” McGeehan said. “I had a small sip and walked away and tossed the rest of it.” “I highly doubt raw milk had anything to do with it, in my case,” McGeehan said. Milk and milk products provide a wealth of nutrition benefits. But raw milk can harbor dangerous microorganisms that can pose serious health risks to you and your family. According to an analysis by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), between 1993 and 2006 more than 1500 people in the United States became sick from drinking raw milk or eating cheese made from raw milk. In addition, CDC reported that unpasteurized milk is 150 times more likely to cause foodborne illness and results in 13 times more hospitalizations than illnesses involving pasteurized dairy products.

I totally agree with these lawmakers saying that the milk that causes stomach illness has nothing to do with their crippling stomach illness. Because I was the same way when I was in high school, and I just assume even the elected officials in West Virginia have the intelligence level of a 17 year old who grew up to be an idiot. I was never hungover, I just happened to have the same symptoms of a hangover. It was a horrible coincidence. Yes, I have a headache, I’m dehydrated, I have the urge to masturbate nonstop, and I’m exhausted but no, it had nothing to do with the alcohol. It’s all poor timing. The milk, like alcohol, is responsible for nothing but the joy you get while celebrating your freedom. Poor timing is what’s really at fault here.

Also I love Pat McGeehan laying their with John Locke casually sitting on his stomach, like he’s Ron Burgundy doing his curls. “Oh hello, news crew I invited into my office. Didn’t know you guys were coming. I was just sitting here, battling through horrible stomach pain and parsing though Two Treatises of Government, standard afternoon for me.”