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Bloomberg Says He Wont Run For President To Make Sure That Hillary Wins

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Gothamist – Former mayor of New York City and current Honorary Knight of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire Michael Bloomberg will never be president of the United States. Bloomberg was considering a presidential run as an independent on the Adults Table ticket—the Times reports that he had produced a video ad, hired attorneys to help him clear any ballot issues, and had vetted Admiral Mike Mullen as his VP. Bloomberg even had a slogan: “All Work and No Party.” Alas, the billionaire crunched the numbers and determined he would not win. In an article for his eponymous news organization, Bloomberg detailed his thinking:

In a three-way race, it’s unlikely any candidate would win a majority of electoral votes, and then the power to choose the president would be taken out of the hands of the American people and thrown to Congress. The fact is, even if I were to receive the most popular votes and the most electoral votes, victory would be highly unlikely, because most members of Congress would vote for their party’s nominee. Party loyalists in Congress — not the American people or the Electoral College — would determine the next president.

Bloomberg then goes on to describe the campaign of Donald Trump as “the most divisive and demagogic presidential campaign I can remember,” and Senator Ted Cruz’s as “no less extreme” and “no less divisive.” He makes no mention of any of the other candidates. “I am not ready to endorse any candidate, but I will continue urging all voters to reject divisive appeals and demanding that candidates offer intelligent, specific and realistic ideas for bridging divides, solving problems, and giving us the honest and capable government we deserve,” Bloomberg writes. In other words: Hillary’s got this. From the Times:

Had both Mr. Trump and Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont appeared headed toward victory in the Republican and Democratic presidential primaries, Mr. Bloomberg was determined to run, according to his advisers, several of whom insisted on anonymity to speak candidly about confidential discussions.But Mr. Bloomberg balked at the prospect of a race against Mr. Trump and Hillary Clinton, who has established a dominant lead over Mr. Sanders on the Democratic side. In his column, Mr. Bloomberg said he could not in good conscience enter a race that could lead to a deadlock in the Electoral College — and to the election of Mr. Trump, or perhaps Senator Ted Cruz of Texas.

Translation – You’re welcome, Hil. Bloombito, voice of the young people, just letting Hillary have that Oval Office. Like a a Christmas gift, wrapped up nicely under the tree. Or in Big ‘Berg’s case, a Hanukah present sitting next to the menorah.

Because make no mistake about it, if Bloombito wants the Oval, he takes the Oval. Plain and simple. When you’re a self made man worth FORTY BILLION DOLLARS you legit can do anything. Bloomberg makes Trump look like a fucking pauper. He ran this godforsaken city during the worst economic recession since the Great Depression and it was still safer and cleaner and better than ever. He’s socially progressive, fiscally conservative, and opposed to war, AKA every normal person on the fucking earth. Oh and did I mention that he’s got the Latino vote on LOCK:

Oh and he’s concerned about the environment. Remember that time he hooked up a window unit air conditioner to his SUV because people were complaining about him leaving his car running?

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GOAT move. Perfectly embodies Bloombito, The Independent. Basically telling the liberal hippie environmentalists to go fuck themselves while still technically getting the job done.

Cant say I blame him for not running though. I’d rather just go be a bazillionaire and not worry about the most difficult, complicated, thankless job ever. But just know Bloomberg would run away with this thing.