Whenever the Game of Thrones YouTube channel uploads one of these technical videos, I usually pass on it. I’m just not into the technical side of filming. All the awards about camera work and sound at the Oscars went way over my head. I completely understand that those people are the real MVPs like Kevin Durant’s mom, but it’s not my thing. I am just more interested in the finished product than anything. The stories. The characters. The boobs. And yes, the awesome cinematic and sound work is a huge part of how great the show is. But the behind the scenes stuff just isn’t for me.
However, since HBO has only released teasers with basically 0 information thus far and is making us basically beg for any glimpse of what happens this season, this video will have to do. So this is the important stuff that I learned from multiple viewings. I got about as much information from it as the janitor from Billy Madison, but here is what I learned.
1. Looks like the King Slayer at least starts the season sailing back from Dorne. This better not turn into one of those journeys at sea that last half a season. I need angry Jaime Lannister back in King’s Landing to fuck those religious crazies shit up with Cersei and Zombie Mountain.
2. Peoples’ faces are still getting cut off Braavos. Again, I am praying to God this is only in the short term, since Blindo Arya is the biggest waste of talent outside of Porzingis being on this Knicks team.
3. Khaleesi is rolling with the Dothraki again, unfortunately (I imagine) without Khal Drogo. Considering how long and boring this adventure was the first time, I hope we at least get some dragon cameos and at least the thought of entering Westeros enters her head.
4. Those fuck head Sons of the Harpy are still raising havoc. Fuck them. And that’s I have to say about that.
So that’s my report. Four storylines that I don’t think I am going to like. Shit. Yes we got a glimpse of Tyrion with a beard, the Bolton army on horseback, Melisandre’s fine ass, and a few scenes of unknown mumbo jumbo. But since this is the first season without the books, I have no idea where we are headed. Then again, Thrones is something you just know will be awesome once it starts. Hopefully we get a legit trailer dropped on our heads soon so we can start dreaming big.