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The Upcoming Star Wars Land In Disney World Looks Like It's Going To Be Awwwesome


Get your fanny packs ready!  There is nowhere on God’s green Earth that I would rather spend hours waiting in line than in the middle of Orlando.  I love Disney and I love Star Wars, so this should (read: hopefully) be a match made in heaven.  Nothing like throwing down a turkey leg while ogling at the girl that dressed as Slave Leia.  I’m not a Harry Potter guy, so I never went to Universal to see Hogwarts.  But it sounds like it was always a zoo down there.  And by zoo I mean really crowded.  Not a Latvian zoo, which is empty, freezing, and depressing.

But going in the Milennium Falcon will be cool.  The cantinas will hopefully be more than just a lame attempt to sling fries and Coke.  And you know every single Star Wars toy and souvenir you can imagine will be available in the gift shops.  My biggest hope for this is that just having Star Wars Land (or whatever it’s called) will give Disney enough money that they don’t feel like they have to bleed every dollar out of the movies.  Just keep making great shit like Episode VII and herd us sheep down to Florida and California and you can have all our money.  Plus it’s always great to see people from all over the world come to America to watch a bunch of cartoons and animatronics, because it confirms that the U.S. of A is still the champion of the world.

And for the record, here are my Disney World park rankings:

1. Magic Kingdom (The GOAT)

2. Animal Kingdom (The safari and rapids are the tits)

3. Epcot (Drinking around the world)

4. Hollywood Studios (Be better)


And in Cali:

1. Disneyland

2. California Adventures