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Is there anything more primal than an eyepatch?


So this dude was just strutting that ass all over the Westminster last night. Just rocking the shit out of his eyepatch. Flat out electric. I couldn’t take my eyes of him. I knew he was gonna win the crown the second I saw him. That’s just how it goes with eyepatches. You see a dude with an eyepatch and you’re like this motherfucker doesn’t play around. He’s mysterious as fuck. Total wildcard. Eyepatches are just primal. They scream power, intrigue, mystery. Yet in reality he just is probably a dude who is missing an eye or has something really fucked up going on. It’s actually a real detriment, but somehow it seems like such a huge advantage. Is there anything else in the world like it? Like Blind Mike is just an idiot who can’t see. Nobody wants to be Blind Mike. But throw an eyepatch on him and he’s suddenly the toast of the town.